21 Comments

Another classic TV mustache: Stupid Sexy Flanders.

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I'm picturing Tom Selleck's Magnum, P.I. era mustache walking into the TV mustache locker room like Larry Bird at the 1988 Three-Point Contest asking which one of them is playing for second.

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Magnum is the stache that ruled half of my pop culture life, as in when I think of him I actually think of the moustache as much as I do Tom Selleck as an actor.

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Constellation: I didn't completely hate this and liked it a bit more than you (the early episodes in the ISS are outstanding in their detail and vibe), but don't know if I can sit thru another season of that cute little girl, an uncountable number of times an episode, pathetically saying "mama" - I just wanted to put her out of her misery, myself.

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I didn't understand what was going on but then I thought I did... until the very end. I don't need another season and Alice has been through enough! Let her be happy!

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I don’t know if you’ve experienced this, Alan, given the ways you receive material for review, but AMC gets its new series exposure by trickily tagging sneak peeks of a few minutes’ length as new episodes of extant series so they’re captured in the middle of the night on the DVRs of viewers who’ve set up whole series to record — e.g., I woke up one day to find a supposed episode of Dark Winds taped at, like, 2:56 a.m. except that it was… I don’t actually recall what it was. The promo for Parish showed up as Monsieur Spade the other night, however, and it just about came off as “Giancarlo Esposito in… A Parody of Giancarlo Esposito Doing What Giancarlo Esposito Does.”

Tom Selleck’s is legendary, of course, but one rather idiosyncratic TV Mustache Hall of Fame submission comes to mind: Cesar Romero’s, which he refused to shave off for Batman and so was simply painted over by his Joker makeup. (Dan Aykroyd’s likewise went unshaven when he played Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter on SNL; they were particularly loose with likenesses in the early years.)

Rue as a hard-boiled detective has lots of promise. Or maybe she’s an assistant medical examiner who solves the mystery of her boss’s sudden death at work? Coming 2025: Euphoria — The Murder in Rue’s Morgue.

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Dang ole Sepinwall, man, talkin’ bout Russians and mustaches and Sam Elliott, man popped up on Family Guy with the dog and the baby. I tell you what man that show just ain’t what it was in 2005, dang ole PTV and James Woods, man.

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I use Fleabag as my rating system. For example, The Bear was 9/10 Fleabags. But nothing can ever be 10/10 Fleabags, because, obviously.

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ER forever ❤️ Thanks for sharing that clip.

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Your ER piece for Uproxx is a favorite of mine. I wish the show had ended in S10 around the time Wyle wanted to leave. After that, it didn’t feel like the show was covering any new ground.

Not sure if you got to it on your 2018 binge, but I’d highly recommend Ray Liotta’s S11 Emmy-nominated episode. That’s the one format-breaking episode (focusing solely on one patient) I wish the show had done earlier in its run. It’s one of the few post-Greene era episodes that really stands out.

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Just need to say that it will always be ridiculous that neither Odenkirk or Seehorn ever won Emmys for Better Call Saul.

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I would have never seen ER if you hadn't written that piece for Uproxx and I'm so grateful I did. It's become one of my favourite shows. I can see its flaws but when it's good it's really good. When it's middling it's a comfort too. I wasn't going to continue once Benton left but I did find the later seasons had parts that kept me coming back. The final season was really good too.

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I’m going to try Apples Don’t Fall despite your unenthusiastic review because I really enjoyed the book and want to see how they adapted it. I’m disappointed they changed the setting to the US but the cast is great. In a similar vein, I can’t watch The Last Thing He told Me because the book was terrible. I was appalled that they made it into a TV show. Maybe it’s better than the book but the book was really stupid.

I was traumatized by the humongous ad for Road House that they had up somewhere near Times Square, with Jake G’s weirdly sculpted abs up close and personal, orange and gleaming. It was horrifying, lol. So I won’t be going to that. Didn’t realize it was a remake.

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Oops, Apples Never Fall. Got the title wrong.

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i'm angry i stuck with constellation not because it wasted my time but by wasting a good premise.

the whole "learning to live with grief so you're not consumed by it" and "maybe crazy people really *are* stuck between two worlds" could have been really good in half as many episodes. i wish they just focused on that and cut most of the mystery box filler.

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I haven't gotten around to Constellation yet, I probably will being a fan of Rapace. But am I the only one who finds it odd that Apple+ are releasing two series (Constellation & Dark Matter) with similar setups (alternate realities/dimensions) so close to one another? I guess someone in the Apple TV programming department was a huge fan of Counterpart.

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The Road House remake is a completely servicable B movie but yeah, Liman tries to amp up the goofy with Billy Magnussen chewing scenery and Conor McGregor being absolutely bonkers, that doesn't really land. But kudos to featuring Hannah Love Lanier, who is great. The film needed to establish the Road House crew better, it almost gets there with game work from Jessica Wiliams, Lukas Gage, and BK Cannon, but doesn't really stick that landing and instead sidelines them enough to make the actual Road House a prop rather than a setting.

But big thumbs up for speed boat combat. We need more of that in action films.

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I watched the Road House remake and it actually wasn't bad but, like a lot of direct to streaming movies, it really feels like there's a much better film trying to get out but they just couldn't pull the trigger.

Gyllenhaal has great, natural charm. It would have been much better to lean into that than making him play stoic and tortured through most of the film. Hiring McGregor as the big bad was such a huge mistake. When you need an insane bad guy, you hire a good actor, not an actual insane bad guy or, at the very least, don't let him talk so much.

I noticed that Band of Brothers was on Netflix, so I decided to revisit it. It's even better than I remembered, I guess this is your "Netflix effect" hitting again but I think that part of that is that Netflix just works so much better than any other streaming platform. Not having to deal with Max was a big plus.

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No better mustache than Tom Selleck's in Magnum P.I.! I've had crush on him since I was 11 and when I got a chance to meet him some 20 years later - he had SHAVED it off! AHHHHH! He was doing a play (his first ever) in Chicago and needed to be clean-shaven. It's the only time in his life he didn't have the 'stache! I still have the photo!

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